newest at top, oldest at bottom, dates uncertain, begin in 2021

"'Marian Apparition Simulator 2025' script" It's said that everyone has an inner child A secret font of play and uninhibited joy With impossible demands, impossible dreams You've been trained to it tune out To suppress and forget This child, lonely and hurt Caged up by your shame, Wading in a pool of all blood you've shed / to become the thing you needed to Need A boxful of job applications Fair numbers, / even matches Readied blackmail Steadied restraint Expressed by choice, / of course With tottering hands / and ringing ears There itself unfolds itself Dream logics flicker in / the dark spots of your vision It asks you, So gently Believe in me Turn towards me And wait Nevermind the vomit / on the carpet Or the glass shard / in your tongue Your skin folds in on itself to produce a radiant god Splendorous and tearful as the sunrise / after new love We ache for each other "Beloved autumn child / Come to let your last fall away / In arms between alone and alone" "I call all to myself / into my heart that bleeds / nourishing ultraviolet light / midst the throbbing veins of the universe" "Drink of mine and mine own" "Go forth / and give birth"

"not yet" i can smell her or hints of her around the corner? i clench and quicken and am off the bus and hitting the ground running it's never been fast enough for me to ride out the wait if I think cause I know she's there isn't she? blissed out to the thud and clop of my own steps and the wind across the alleys that carries her trace and trail and i shiver (at the thought that I might be run over and make the ultimate sacrifice for my love to be roadkill meat bride) and for once fifteen hundred hertz whine of the void is silent in the noise of the street which carries every life singing the song of our love and our love singing the song of theirs and their bravery each time they leave their bed

"lines written watching the Europa Clipper launch" powerful dart cast into dark precision art absent patriarch inspection, infection, infinite Direction exchange of data for death Exchange of Data for Death

"Difference and Identity" All this, all that Frantic scissors shear off all binds against a retreat to an infinite point Rapturous destructive dynamism escapes confines of the ordinary And yet, still lines still move and flow Harmonious unities spark to life then fall by white noise undertow into dissonant dark Oh! That your eye above eyes might shine and pierce through time's great terror that holds us hostage and calls us to resign to fate's cynical song. That very error to which your stupid hoping heart rebels in fits and spurts

"Perfect Evening" Table small, but not small enough Closer still to you, a desire springs out of a heart filled with fluff Tight in, a perfect pocket formed from a sea of light and sound Surrounded by bodies adorned in ensembles rich and clever pressing in with the weight of a value that I never am able to possess But do they know what I have here? This writhing strange thing of mine Stilled in an eternal moment Adorned with harmonious halo Of all this that my fear and frantic efforts couldn't assign understanding... It arrogates like gravity to a thousand twinklings comets Flying with fiery, gratuitous light A charitble gift for my maudlin heart

"Glossolalia Girl" I didn't know what I knew that I know that I didn't Until you said (deberali meppa emby) ? Screams in the dark on an empty bed Disgusting life stops at my skin I'm not-there, only it and my twin That was, of course, until you said (deberali meppa emby) ? Dancing like a birthday child Cause she knows the world is hers Conspire with her secret mind She's hi-fi circuit cursed Brooding, deluding to find the sublime There's nothing she can't traverse A beautiful resonance in white noise world She's Glossolalia Girl

"Un-dead" If only I knew Why I did what I do Inert on a river, restless, sleeping Abolished in anxious terror, weeping Arise to embrace an eternal haunt Intravenous drip from the font Of the Impossible

"Circles" Uncountable circles enveloping form Miserable attempts at subverting the norm Dissolving in water, dissolving in air Ideas to slaughter by a view from nowhere Places of refuge left for us to find Belong only to the refuse, those left behind It's near incomprehensible, I know But fear isn't the only way that things can go Eternal Life whispers in your heart A Sister still when all else departs

"What is Sex?" Mute in a world of deafening noise My hands will be my voice Grip tight on your throat Seeking freedom in anything but It wants to make the cut Always, already Enjoyment of every impasse Deferment of every solution Dialectical double glass Transferential substitution Fire that shoots through my veins threatens to engulf us both My love is the antidote

"Void Memory" breath of life within my lungs slips out past a rotting tongue event horizon, deafened call hemorrhage of all to all the void holds no memory transcendant nor sensory but we will never forget high volume noise overwhelms a ship without a human helm bloody hands, never clean infinite solvent machine the void holds no memory transcendant nor sensory but we will never forget

"After Abuse" the faces I see are blurred and strange pieces aren't mine, not mine to arrange words are mumbles, I don't have a clue I don't know anything without you I'm bleeding out but my blood is dry no one said that it's time to cry crushed by weight, but I can't look to see what it is that sits above me each moment a canvas to fill colors created by your will the world you've made fills me with dread but don't you know the author is dead?

"draft for a song about Cloud Kicker" i've got a little repuatation trust me, it's all true i'm the biggest slut in town sure as my sexy fur is blue i'm bound by rules of my creation gotta save yourself from all the heartbreak and frustration keep those feelings safe, contained it's better not to be restrained but i don't know what to do about the way you make me feel please don't tie me down i'll survive without you by my side please don't tie me down feelings change, feelings change please don't tie me down my heart's not strong enough for this Luna please save me from the dreams I have of you